Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
