fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
