Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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