Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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