i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
