so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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