"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
