It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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