You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
