Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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