"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
