He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
