i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think people are normalizing furries
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
