you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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