on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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