Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
