Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
