how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
