yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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