it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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