Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
