i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize