dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
