just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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