Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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