I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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