She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
