i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
