She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize