I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
tell me about the fingering
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