So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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