They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
