Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize