i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize