Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
