I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
