this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
