How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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