I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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