Just mADE A PArabola og urine
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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