if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
