There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He has the fingertips of a God
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