I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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