so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
