I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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