i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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