Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
