i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
