That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i love accidental penises.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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