You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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