i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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