Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize