so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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