he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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