I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
